here eggy eggy eggy (updated)

Why the hell won't my body ovulate? I can tell it's been trying... There was even a nice little temperature dip on day 14, which coincided with my cervix moving from "pulling up and softening up" to "where the hell did that damn thing go?" No thermal shift after that, though, even though reclusive Ms. Cervix plopped back down and closed her mouth firmly on day 15. At first I thought maybe the dip could be explained by a change in sleeping environment (back to the bedroom, no more warm flannel PJs or fleecey nightgown), meaning that the temp drop wasn't really a drop at all, but the day 15 return to my previous temps was really a rise. So, for a day or so, I thought that maybe I had messed up my chart, but my ovaries were working.

Nope...the next day, my cervix started oozing creamy stuff again and migrating back up past the farther reaches of my middle finger. (Yes, I know, that's beautiful. *sniff*) Day 18 now, and Ms. C is (I think) at her farthest point again, but still giving up only creamy stuff. No eggwhite for me. I'm starting to think that Ms. C is a vegan.

The Ovary Squad, on the other hand, is still cranky about being called up for active duty after nearly five years on contraception-induced-shutdown. Maybe they're just lazy and can't bring themselves to do their jobs. Really, though, I think they've set up a picket line and are refusing to give up any eggs, claiming low wages and insufficient notice of the change in job description. I can practically hear them chanting: "What do we want?" "ARTIFICIAL HORMONES!!" "When do we want them?" "NOW!!"

Couple of junkies, those two. Can't function day to day without their NuvaRing fix. Recovery's a bitch, girls, but you'll stick with the program if you know what's good for you.