Treasures

This past Shabbat, at the kiddush after moning services, I held a friend's baby. Not for a minute or two or five, but for a good half-hour, walking around the room, giving the mom a chance to eat with her hands free and happily shmoozing with a bunch of people. I laughed off a good number of comments: "Hey, he looks good on you!" "You hold that baby so naturally!" "I'm gone for three weeks and come back to THIS?" The kid cooed and giggled and pulled at my necklace and generally did all those cue things babies do. I joked that I was going to bundle him under my coat and take him home (but return him to his parents in time for his bar mitzvah of course - that's one party I'm not paying for if I don't have to).

It all would have been a very pleasant experience, but for one thing. As she handed the baby over to me, the mother, who knows that we are just starting to deal with our IF problems and was infertile herself for some time, whispered, "It's a segula,* you know. For having a baby."

Yes, I know. I was tempted to respond, "I hear sex is a segula for getting pregnant, too, but so far it hasn't worked for me." I bit my tongue, though, and smiled and took the baby from her arms, because, dammit, I wanted to hold him anyway, because he's CUTE. As for the segula - as far as I'm concerned, it's superstition, plain and simple, and rarely if ever has any place in Judaism. I know segulas make other people happy, and it's not my place to tell them it's "wrong" to think that way, but I must say I wish they'd stop trying to impose all this segula-ness on me. Particularly when "they" is someone who has been in my shoes, who must know that even the most well-intentioned comments can be surprisingly wounding, and that you never can tell how something will sound in someone else's mind. Or maybe I just give other people too much credit. Maybe she just assumes that whatever comforted her soul will comfort mine as well.

* segula - lit., "treasure" - an action or behavior, like wearing the now-trendy red string kabbalah bracelet, that is supposed to have the power to bring about a certain effect