13dpo: thoughts in the wee hours before beta

I just placed a plastic cup and a peestick on the lid of the toilet, lest I forget to test first thing when I wake up. As if. And, yes, many of you gave many good reasons why I should not POAS before my beta, but...well, I think that, overall, I will feel better having done so.

I'm pretty sure that noise I hear from downstairs is Hope packing up her bags and making room for the other Bitch, who was considering a four- or five-day stay commencing this weekend. We'll have to wait and see whether the switch happens or not; right now I am feeling neither optimistic nor pessimistic. I'm barely even feeling.

How did beta day get here so fast? Just a week ago I was aching to test ASAP, but now I wish it were still a few days away, so I could keep Hope locked up behind my car for a little while longer.

No! What am I saying? I hate that bitch!

Why hasn't Lulu posted about persephone yet? "Event" be damned, woman, we need our news!

Um...I hope seph and the babies are okay.

I didn't quite finish cooking for Shavuot. I hope I'm in enough of a good mood to finish up after work tomorow, though I suppose we won't starve if I don't.

I bought a pint of Phish Food for tomorrow, just in case. I considered buy a bottle of sparkling grape juice, for the other just-in-case, but I couldn't bear the thought of looking at it while tossing back a bottle of cabernet with dinner.

I really wish those twingy cramps would pick a location and stick with it. I can't tell what's hurting - my right ovary, my uterus, or my bladder.

By the time anyone reads this post, I'll probably have tested already. But I'm not sure I'm going to post peestick results. Don't hate me.

Good night, dear friends. Good night, Hope. Do stick around.